"Productive" Procrastination

Come on. Don’t act like you don’t know what it is. Even if you’ve never heard the term “productive procrastination”, as soon as you processed what the words meant, you thought of a time where you had done this. No, not you? Okay we’ll say it was “someone you know” wink, wink. Let me prove to you that this is simply part of human nature and we have all done this in some form or fashion.

     Okay let’s start with this scenario: It’s Friday night, make that the Friday night of Homecoming weekend and all the fun festivities that go along with it. Think Spirit Week, pep rallies, cheerleaders doing spirit fingers, football games, sparkly dresses and corsages a plenty, okay? Alright, now picture a high school freshman student who has to write a 10-12 page paper due promptly at the top of first period on Monday morning. Let’s call her Joan.

     Joan got out of school early this particular Friday because it was a half day. Still pumped up from the pep-rally, Joan decides to run a few necessary errands before heading to the library to knock out this paper. She stops at the closest fast food drive-thru window after turning out of the school parking lot to grab some lunch. After all, a girl’s gotta eat right? While she gobbles down her grilled chicken salad with fries on the side, Joan mentally goes over the order of her errands. “Okay, just gonna swing by the mall to pick up the jewelry I saw last weekend to go with the adorable dress I found at that amazing consignment shop that I need to pick up from the cleaners, then go home to wash this hair so I can practice that up-do I saw on YouTube, then I’m chaining my legs to my computer chair to finish this paper.” But “finish” was a relative term, because at this point, all Joan had completed was her outline and a few paragraphs of her rough draft. Can you see where this train is going? All aboard! Destination productive procrastination station!

     Oh, that’s my daughter, not me some of you are thinking. How soon we forget! Okay how about this scenario for you grown women out there who haven’t procrastinated since you graduated, got your whole life together and the string of letters behind your name to prove it. Thanksgiving dinner, and for the first time you are hosting it at your house and you haven’t really hosted anything for at least a year. At least. It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving Thursday. You planned ahead and got Tuesday and Wednesday off so you could make sure you have everything done in time before your in-laws fly in on Thursday morning. You have appointments booked to have the carpet cleaned, and the cable guy is coming to fix that channel that keeps macro blocking, because you know it will be disastrous if that football game is not coming in clear with all its pixels!  All you really must do is focus on cooking a yummy turkey dinner. You notice as you walk by the laundry room that it is a hot mess. You decide to take a “few minutes” and straighten it up. An hour and a half later, the laundry room is looking picture perfect, and you decide you better check and make sure all the bathrooms are ready for your guests. You could have sworn you just cleaned the bathrooms, but now suddenly you are noticing even the slightest dust on top of the pictures hanging in the powder room and the tiniest bit of caulking that is missing in the guest room bathtub. So, you run to the garage, grab the caulk gun and fix it “quickly”, promising yourself to get out of the house and hit the grocery store before you have to pick up your kids from basketball and gymnastics practice respectively. Can you see where this train is headed? Woo-woo! Productive procrastination station here you come!

     So, when your husband asks why there’s no gravy, and you are getting the side-eye from your sister-in-law whose face is practically screaming “Who the hell forgets to make the gravy?!”. You kindly explain in private to him later how much you accomplished and got done in all the stops you made along the procrastination station train route that landed you here.

     After all, the whole concept behind productive procrastination is to be busy doing something that you can show as an accomplishment, if only to yourself, to prove that you haven’t been wasting time procrastinating. It’s the worst form of self-deception out there. Ask me how I know! It is a dream killer and a time waster, even though your curtains do look fabulous and even smell slightly of lavender fabric softener after you wash them. 

     Wonderful! But how’s that quilt coming that you promised yourself you’d learn how to sew? Or what about the book you have in your heart and know you need to write? I can’t very well preach to you about how to overcome the productive procrastination syndrome, because I’m still working through it myself. But I can bring it to your attention, call it out for the foolishness it is, and lovingly point out that while you are staying so busy, the question we need to answer to ourselves is why? Why am I always moving? Why must I always be busy doing something? What happens when you get still? I mean still without plopping on the couch in front of the television. Still without occupying your mind with busy work like you are a honeybee working for the queen. 

     Try it right now for about ten seconds. Just close your eyes and breathe deeply. Center yourself. Listen for the small voice of wisdom and see what she has to say to you. Don’t stress if you hear nothing. It wouldn’t be surprising that you can’t be still and listen to your inner guidance because you have been running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to “make it happen”. Don’t get me wrong, action steps are great, just make sure they are the right action steps. Begin to make a practice of being still. You may have heard this before. Practicing the art of mindfulness. But did you try it? Did you stick with it? You don’t have to but, wait what’s that I hear? Woo-woo! I hear our train coming down the track. So you decide. Are you going to jump back on that hamster wheel of purposeless productivity, or are you going to join me in staying focused so we can stay the course on our journey of more purposeful actions that bring about the fruit of peace in our lives? Let’s grow!