"Productive" Procrastination

Come on. Don’t act like you don’t know what it is. Even if you’ve never heard the term “productive procrastination”, as soon as you processed what the words meant, you thought of a time where you had done this. No, not you? Okay we’ll say it was “someone you know” wink, wink. Let me prove to you that this is simply part of human nature and we have all done this in some form or fashion.

     Okay let’s start with this scenario: It’s Friday night, make that the Friday night of Homecoming weekend and all the fun festivities that go along with it. Think Spirit Week, pep rallies, cheerleaders doing spirit fingers, football games, sparkly dresses and corsages a plenty, okay? Alright, now picture a high school freshman student who has to write a 10-12 page paper due promptly at the top of first period on Monday morning. Let’s call her Joan.

     Joan got out of school early this particular Friday because it was a half day. Still pumped up from the pep-rally, Joan decides to run a few necessary errands before heading to the library to knock out this paper. She stops at the closest fast food drive-thru window after turning out of the school parking lot to grab some lunch. After all, a girl’s gotta eat right? While she gobbles down her grilled chicken salad with fries on the side, Joan mentally goes over the order of her errands. “Okay, just gonna swing by the mall to pick up the jewelry I saw last weekend to go with the adorable dress I found at that amazing consignment shop that I need to pick up from the cleaners, then go home to wash this hair so I can practice that up-do I saw on YouTube, then I’m chaining my legs to my computer chair to finish this paper.” But “finish” was a relative term, because at this point, all Joan had completed was her outline and a few paragraphs of her rough draft. Can you see where this train is going? All aboard! Destination productive procrastination station!

     Oh, that’s my daughter, not me some of you are thinking. How soon we forget! Okay how about this scenario for you grown women out there who haven’t procrastinated since you graduated, got your whole life together and the string of letters behind your name to prove it. Thanksgiving dinner, and for the first time you are hosting it at your house and you haven’t really hosted anything for at least a year. At least. It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving Thursday. You planned ahead and got Tuesday and Wednesday off so you could make sure you have everything done in time before your in-laws fly in on Thursday morning. You have appointments booked to have the carpet cleaned, and the cable guy is coming to fix that channel that keeps macro blocking, because you know it will be disastrous if that football game is not coming in clear with all its pixels!  All you really must do is focus on cooking a yummy turkey dinner. You notice as you walk by the laundry room that it is a hot mess. You decide to take a “few minutes” and straighten it up. An hour and a half later, the laundry room is looking picture perfect, and you decide you better check and make sure all the bathrooms are ready for your guests. You could have sworn you just cleaned the bathrooms, but now suddenly you are noticing even the slightest dust on top of the pictures hanging in the powder room and the tiniest bit of caulking that is missing in the guest room bathtub. So, you run to the garage, grab the caulk gun and fix it “quickly”, promising yourself to get out of the house and hit the grocery store before you have to pick up your kids from basketball and gymnastics practice respectively. Can you see where this train is headed? Woo-woo! Productive procrastination station here you come!

     So, when your husband asks why there’s no gravy, and you are getting the side-eye from your sister-in-law whose face is practically screaming “Who the hell forgets to make the gravy?!”. You kindly explain in private to him later how much you accomplished and got done in all the stops you made along the procrastination station train route that landed you here.

     After all, the whole concept behind productive procrastination is to be busy doing something that you can show as an accomplishment, if only to yourself, to prove that you haven’t been wasting time procrastinating. It’s the worst form of self-deception out there. Ask me how I know! It is a dream killer and a time waster, even though your curtains do look fabulous and even smell slightly of lavender fabric softener after you wash them. 

     Wonderful! But how’s that quilt coming that you promised yourself you’d learn how to sew? Or what about the book you have in your heart and know you need to write? I can’t very well preach to you about how to overcome the productive procrastination syndrome, because I’m still working through it myself. But I can bring it to your attention, call it out for the foolishness it is, and lovingly point out that while you are staying so busy, the question we need to answer to ourselves is why? Why am I always moving? Why must I always be busy doing something? What happens when you get still? I mean still without plopping on the couch in front of the television. Still without occupying your mind with busy work like you are a honeybee working for the queen. 

     Try it right now for about ten seconds. Just close your eyes and breathe deeply. Center yourself. Listen for the small voice of wisdom and see what she has to say to you. Don’t stress if you hear nothing. It wouldn’t be surprising that you can’t be still and listen to your inner guidance because you have been running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to “make it happen”. Don’t get me wrong, action steps are great, just make sure they are the right action steps. Begin to make a practice of being still. You may have heard this before. Practicing the art of mindfulness. But did you try it? Did you stick with it? You don’t have to but, wait what’s that I hear? Woo-woo! I hear our train coming down the track. So you decide. Are you going to jump back on that hamster wheel of purposeless productivity, or are you going to join me in staying focused so we can stay the course on our journey of more purposeful actions that bring about the fruit of peace in our lives? Let’s grow!

Failing Forward

     Have you ever felt like a failure because you set out to achieve something and things just didn't quite work out as smoothly as you imagined? Have you ever stopped just short of your goal because of wrong thinking? Have you considered that just because you fail at something doesn't mean YOU are a failure? Well, me too! Certainly we are in good company! Lots of successful people fail their way to the top...but what separates the "failures" from those who reach their dreams? Especially when the very same opportunities are given, yet one person fails miserably while the other person flourishes? 

    Mindset. What I have learned so far along my journey may seem elementary to some, but it has been groundbreaking for me! In fact, applying this concept is why I am even writing this blog entry! You see, I started this blog just over a year ago in January 2015, and here it is February 2016 as I sit and write my third entry, from my home office. 

     I couldn't have done this without beating myself up a year ago, and it is just that type of defeated mindset and negative thinking that routinely robbed me of being consistent and disciplined in my goals and in my daily life as recently as last year. But even before the end of January 2015, I began to realize that my thoughts and attitudes were my biggest obstacle, and I set out on a path to begin to change that. In doing so, I had one of the most phenomenal years of my life, seemingly without even trying. In March I restarted my career in real estate, in June we enjoyed our first real family vacation with the kids, in October I celebrated my 20 year high school reunion back home in the state of Michigan. 

Also, in October, was my first solo art venture, selling my handmade jewelry alongside my mom, Susan Swanson, the ceramic artist.(susanswansonceramics.com) 

     Then in November, I was even invited to preach my first sermon, and did so, with a confidence that I had only known as a five year old girl. I even opened an online store on Etsy in November, which I had wanted to do for at least two years! (www.etsy.com/shop/ArtForTheHeartGifts)                                                                                               

     Finally, in December my husband and I enjoyed a cruise to the Bahamas, our first vacay without the kids since our honeymoon in 2007!  

 I know its nothing short of the grace of God, but I can attest to the truth that even with God, you can go around and around the same mountain getting no further to the top, simply because of wrong thought patterns and beliefs. So for me, to do all of these things that at one point in time seemed impossible to my limited thinking, was nothing short of amazing! 

     So what happened? How did the transformation occur? I began to give myself permission to be free. I shifted my thoughts from limitation and lack to abundant possibilities. I purposely made a habit of forcing myself to be thankful when all my old attitude wanted to do was complain. I started down the path of freeing myself from perfectionism and moving into more purposeful action. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like any of this was easy or like it happened overnight, or even like I have it all together now. But in just one year, I was able to realize some personal goals that had taken me almost a decade to manifest simply because of  possessing the wrong mindset. Now, by accepting myself as I am, I am feeling freer and enjoying my life more. 

     What are some areas of your life where you recognize the way you think is getting in your way? Take a moment to acknowledge an area or two of your personal weaknesses that you would like to see change this year and write down at least three of your personal strengths for each weakness. If you are feeling too negative to even come up with any strengths, then you may want to ask a friend or two. (I said a friend. You know, not the critical cousin you have who is always in competition with you or the cutthroat co-worker who smiles in your face and talks behind your back!) Also, take time to close your eyes and use your imagination to really envision and dream about your life the way you truly want it to be. Imagine it in detail, including what it would feel like, taste like, smell like, etc. Live your life by design and empower yourself to be free from what has happened to you by deciding what you are going to do about it! 


Let's manifest our best in 2016!

Lots of love,

Mrs. Sara Harvey

What a great day!

     Yesterday we had a major breakthrough at the Harvey household, my youngest, Zachary, who is two, FINALLY pooped in the toilet!! I know some of you are probably one click away from something else to read, but to those of you who are still in the potty training struggle, you know the first poo in the pot is MAJOR! Especially if you consider all the mishaps we had up to this point. I won’t go there, it’s really crappy. Corny pun, I know, please forgive me. It was so awesome though! And it was a team effort, my oldest  son, Jamal, 23, spotted Zach squatting by the window, making the face. You know the face. So I ran over and said, “You need to go potty!” and escorted him by hand to the “big boy toilet”. About two minutes later, I heard the splash and we had a celebration! Probably over the top a bit, I was concerned I might have scared the crap back in him, but to my surprise, we had a repeat of the whole thing about a half hour later. Except this time I found him squatting behind the recliner in his room. I resisted the urge to post pics all over my social media outlets, but I think it might be okay to post this little video clip here. 

     All in all it was a great day. I was so excited to have my whole family sit down and EVERYONE enjoyed the slow cooker chili that I made. No one seemed to even notice that I completely improvised on some major parts of the recipe. I had already started when I realized I didn’t have the 28 oz. of diced tomatoes it called for. So I lovingly cut up about 30 cherry tomatoes and tossed them in. It didn’t quite look like 28 oz., so about two hours later when I went to pick up my daughter from school, I grabbed an extra 15 oz. can of diced tomatoes and tossed them in.  I served it up over white rice and almost everyone went back for seconds. Oh, well, except for my 2 year old who exclusively eats Honey-Nut Cheerios for dinner. Here is the original recipe, (for the chili, not the Cheerios) and some pics of the process. Thanks Betty Crocker!

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/slow-cooker-family-favorite-chili/c6f4c4e2-8298-4d9d-8f21-d4ca19d35cb7

     With the extra time I saved with the slow cooker, Zach and I painted these little picture frames together. I have had them forever, I picked them up at Michael’s over a year ago wanting to make something artistic I could sell. It was so nice to redeem my failed project simply spending time with my baby. 

     Every day is a gift. Just enjoy the little things today. Even if everything isn’t going great, a great attitude changes everything. Remember that God loves you, and in that is something you can smile about! No matter what you are going through, it will change. Whether it’s good or bad, it will change, so why not focus on the love that never changes? Just food for thought from a gal who has given up on having a bad attitude, and I never really knew just how empowering it could really be! My world has changed for the better! While my family is still not perfect, I am so blessed and thankful to have each one of them and for this time that we are all together, living in Harvey’s Happy Home! 

A New Attitude for 2015!

     HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It’s a new year, a new month, a new day! I’ve decided to take on a new attitude as well. This attitude is one that does a whole lot less complaining, talking, reminding, and well okay, nagging. It seems that lately my husband’s biggest request after a long day of dealing with complaining clients is for me not to complain. I admit, I can be a whiner when I’m over tired and or too hungry. But of course, to my ears, it doesn’t sound like whining...I’m simply asking for his love, attention, and support, because as a stay at home mom, I’ve been working all day and usually well into the night as well. I deal with some tough clients too! They are very demanding at ages 5 and 2. Not to mention the needs of our 23 year old who recently moved back home and my senior age father who has been living with us for the past three years or so, after having some heart issues.  

     I am by no means intending to keep this new attitude in my own strength, through sheer will power, we all know how those resolutions end up. But I am fully expecting the grace of God to help me. After all, trying to get a verbally gifted (you can laugh) person like myself to keep my mouth shut is going to require some miracle working power! So how am I going to do this in 2015? You have probably already heard the solution, I know I have! But how often does doing what we know to do cleverly elude us? Okay so here it is, the earth shattering, world changing secret, I’m going to pray more. 

     Oh sure, I pray! But in my less spiritual moments it sounds more like this, Please God tell him to...Please God make them stop...you get the idea. So I am simply asking God to help me trust Him more, lean on Him more and already, only five days into the new year, my home is a happier place!!! I love to share with others what works for my family, with no promises that it will work for yours, but as encouragement that comes with a guarantee that if you trust God and continually ask for His help, He doesn’t love our family anymore than He loves yours and this will be your best year yet! So join me on our adventure of loving more, and simply believing that love alone can change even the toughest of circumstances, because after all, God is love, and love never fails!